just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
