i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You were trust falling into bushes
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
