I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
