Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
