eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You ruined the universe
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
