Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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