What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
