I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
