Cold hands, warm shart.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
