im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
