I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
