You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
