Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wish you could order shots online.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
