I'm really into asian looking animals
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
