Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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