so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
