Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
