He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
