I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
