why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
