it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
