It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
