Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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