thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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