i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
