Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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