Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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