Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
my poor anus
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
