He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he thought i was a dude.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
