haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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