4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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