HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
