...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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