I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
