used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
