I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
