I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
