Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
