we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
