That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Randomize
