idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
they call him Oral-B. enough said
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
