what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize