just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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