why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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