she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
