I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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