Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
