were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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