maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
