you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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