WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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